Who is Brian Bulka?
INTRO
Boy oh boy, where do I even start? Brian Bulka is among the most handsome, athletic, and talented human beings. But where did this all start?
EARLY LIFE
Brian Bulka was born on August 30th, 2010. Entering the earth, he entered a private preschool. In the yearbook, Bulka was voted most likely to succeed, and best dressed in the class of 2014, planning to skip the last year of pre-school and go straight to Washington Elementary Academy with the big dogs, (James Pogachnik, Ethan Laffey.) But it only starts here.
DANCE MONKEY
Around 4th grade was Bulka’s peak, he had just dropped the single, Dance Monkey, featuring 21 Savage. This sensation went viral on the internet, and celebrities including Drake, Lebron James, and Sketch had good stuff to say about the phenomenon of an artist. Bulka found himself on America Got Talent, where he sang “You Are My Sunshine,” by Kevin Durant, winning the gold prize. But, what happened after this?
RIVALS
3 years after “Dance Monkey” aired at Mechanics Grove, Bulka’s fame went down as his rival Ethan Laffey’s fame exploded through the roof. Ethan Laffey was famous for his amazing hair. His variety of styles went viral, having a Buzz Cut, Fluffy hair, and his famous Middle Part Rat Tail. Bulka knew he had to make a change, so he started something new. Not singing, but better.
NO DAYS OFF
Bulka joined the YNG Dreamerz at a young age to try out Basketball. This did not work out for him due to his tiny build and non-unique playstyle. 4 weeks into the season, he got cut from the team due to his Tiktok video where he said, “Soccer is so much harder than Basketball.” Because this didn’t work out for Bulka, Ethan Laffey made fun of him and Brian cried himself to sleep that night. Brian decided to try out soccer while playing at the park, the famous Lionel Messi approached Bulka. He couldn’t believe his eyes, and I’m not talking about Brian. Messi had never seen a soccer player like him. He can goal keep, play the left wing, the striker, and especially the right wing. Brian met his expectations and replaced Messi. But now, not a lot is heard of Bulka anymore, people said he went down south to work at the barn, and others said he now works for Camp Fish Tales. Which is a blast, by the way, you do a lot of swimming fishing eating. But anyway, where is Bulka? And will he ever make a return, or continue his career of working at Camp Fish Tales?
The NBA GOAT Debate
The goat conversation is a controversial thing in most sports communities. Messi and Ronaldo, Brady and Montana, but the most talked about ones are Jordan and Lebron James. These two athletes are hard to compare because Lebron is modern while Jordan played in the 90’s. So here I will break down the differences and similarities between the two and use them for who is better.
The ERAS
Lebron plays in an ERA where defense is more about the highlights, the blocks, and the steals. According to official NBA analysts, the average score in the NBA these days is roughly 114 points. Going back to the 90’s, the average score then was 101 points. And if you think the reason for this was the players, you’re wrong. If you go watch 90’s highlights right now you will first notice that teams play more aggressive, rough, and lockdown defense. These days defenders are lazier, they practically only play defense when their assignment has the ball. I will have to give this to Jordan.
STATS
Unfortunately for us Chicago Fans, Lebron broke the all time NBA scoring record about a year ago. Also when we compare their stats, it’s like comparing two
superheroes. Jordan, he’s got those six NBA championship rings, while LeBron has four. That’s pretty close, right? But here’s the thing, LeBron has more career points, rebounds, and assists than Jordan did. Some say Jordan was the ultimate scorer, while LeBron is the all-around player. So I will have to give this one to Lebron.
Why I think Jordans better
Jordan boasts six NBA championships, all of which he won in just eight years with the Chicago Bulls. That’s an unparalleled level of dominance. Plus, Jordan was a scoring machine, with a career average of 30.1 points per game, the highest in NBA history. His clutch performances in crucial moments earned him the nickname “His Airness.” Beyond stats, Jordan’s impact on the game’s global popularity and culture is immeasurable, with his iconic brand still resonating today. When it comes down to it, Jordan’s legacy as the epitome of basketball greatness remains unmatched, solidifying his status as the GOAT. Jordan will be the goat until basketball becomes a lot more advanced, and different. But for now, Jordan simply owns Lebron James.
