BREAKING NEWS! Carl Sanburg student, Ethan Laffey reports he found Elvis Presley inside local grocery store, Jewel Osco. After Ethan reported this, the TNN broadcasting team rushed to the sight and recorded live videos of Elvis living in the store. Ethan says,” When I got there and saw him, I was baffled and immediately started hitting the Griddy.” Ethan also says that Elvis repeated the Griddy after him, giving him a major spook.
After this, the TNN broadcasting team quickly bombarded Elvis with questions. They said, “He said he’d lived here for 47 years, faking his death on the toilet and fooling us all.” Mundelein police took Elvis into custody for investigation shortly after his reveal. Police report that Elvis has been living off of pizza Lunchables for the last 47 years.
Elvis Gets Sentenced to Life in Prison!
After Mundelein police questioned Elvis, he was sent to court for justice. Supreme Judge, W. Smithers finds Elvis guilty of fraud and sentences him to life in jail! This left many Elvis fans in shock and disbelief, causing protests around the country to break out with slogans of, “FREE ELVIS!” and “ EVLIS BELONGS ON STAGE, NOT BEHIND BARS!”
These protesters eventually started rioting in prisons around the world causing mayhem, until their idol, Elvis, was released. After a month of these protests and many deaths, Elvis was finally released but put on home arrest to make sure he doesn’t go back into hiding.
