Best Horror Movies In THE WORLDDDD (Mansplaining) (NOT CLICKBAIT)

Rating Horror Movies in Order

Levi Mireles, Writer

Horror movies are all (not equally) great. Some have great plots and bad scares and others have bad plots but great scares or both of those but neither of those.  So I’ll be rating them from worst to greatest and explain why, my top 5. Also there are spoilers ahead for a couple of the movies. (Both the plot and scares.) Worst horror movie ever, Unfriended. It’s on Netflix and every horror fan knows Netflixs makes the WORST and most ATROCIOUS horror movies in existence. This movie is about friends who call each other on their computers and just facetime. One particular time they facetimed and a mysterious person joined their call with their camera and mic off. The friends tried to get the mystery person off the call but they keep coming back and telling them very odd and gruesome things that they’d do to the people on the call. And of course everyone knows the person ends up killing off everyone in the call except for the main character leaving her scarred for life, of course. 

 Number 2 is going to have to be In The Tall Grass. I hate this movie so much its plot makes no sense and they tried making GRASS scary! The movie starts with a family going to a field of grass and getting lost because it’s like a maze and the family separates from each other. Time flies by a lot in the tall grass but the family thinks they’ve just been there for 5 minutes. After a while the sister reunites with her brother and they stick together trying to find their mother and father. The mother is actually in some kind of ritual and some goblin comes out and rips her fetus baby out of her stomach and the dad can hear this all but still can’t find her. Fast forward the family reunited and is dying and getting killed by the grass people but the sister survives and makes it out alive and it’s been like 20 years. The process starts again when a family in a car pulls up to her and she warns them but they don’t listen. Overall this movie is really silly and doesn’t deserve any good ratings. 

Number 3 A Quiet Place, a more suspenseful thriller than horror but it is actually very good. An alien asteroid invades earth and it’s sensitive to noise and kills anyone who makes loud noises. A family of 4 is surviving alone in a barn and are actually pretty good at survival. The family is unfortunately attacked and the dad dies. In the second movie you find out the aliens have come to be and that there are other people alive. The movie is overall kinda sad with a clean plot but just not scary enough.

Coming in at number 4 we have my personal favorite, My Bloody Valentine! A movie starring the killer Harry Warden and the victims of course, Alex, Tom and Sarah. They all come from a small town called Valentines Bluffs. Valentines Bluffs has a bad history behind; it’s said a miner was killed and left behind a mining hole and never got to say bye to his lover. Now he seeks revenge and comes back every February 14th looking for his lover and ex friends. The trio of course eventually gets caught up in the mine and finds the killer. But Tom was missing. Turns out Tom is actually Harry Warden, he gets shot by Alex. But plot twist he lives and continues to haunt the town. 

And now number 5, the best horror of all time is Halloween 1978. FIRST OF ALL, the movie has such a good storyline. It’s shown how Michael came to be and why he is targeting his victims and he is just such a complex character. Aside from Michael Myers, Laurie is so cool. She is a well done strong independent female who quite literally trains before every Halloween to kill Michael Myers. She knows Michael very well and does her best to bring him down. Aside from characters the movie plot is well organized and this is not including Rob Zombie’s Halloween. 1978, 1981, 1995 and 2007 are my favorites.

1978 is the original movie and already extremely well made. Like I said it explains how Michael became a killer and it just goes straight to the suspense, and to killing. And in 1981 the movie is already in suspense because it leaves off where Laurie was when she was being chased and where Michael jumped off the balcony. I also really like how creepy the hospital scene is, it’s super unsettling and amazing. 1995 is nicely modernized and is very similar to the first movie, 1978 but instead Tommy, another one of Michaels victims, ties the Strode family aka Lauries bloodline, to Michael Myers. So it turns out they were step siblings which is a big plot twist but also makes sense because Michael only ever wanted to end his whole bloodline. But this was recently changed in 2018. And 2007 has the best Michael Myers design. Plus it’s accurate because Michael started off as a blonde little boy but somehow grew into brown hair as he got older? But in the 2007 design you can see him in the mental asylum from behind without his mask, and he has messy blonde hair. Speaking of mental asylum in this movie he was arrested and caught, finally being put into a mental asylum but broke out, starting his spree again.

In summary of all of this I think My Bloody Valentine and the Halloween franchise tops your favorites and IT sucks.